Wood You?

I’m a creature of habit. It’s something I’ve shared before, but I’m coming at it from a slightly different angle this time around. I’m risk adverse. That’s an indirect admission that I don’t handle failure that well. I’ll put on a brave facade and do my best to laugh it off when I fail to meet my sometimes unrealistic expectations, but on the inside it eats me up.

We’re told so many times that there are no failures, only new opportunities to learn. There are as many uplifting quotes about the necessity and value of falling short. And in theory, all those positive thoughts make sense. But in the heat of the moment, when we feel that crushing weight of being let down by our own lacking performance, none of those attempts to assist us in weathering the storm really helps. It’s as if a crushing wave has swallowed us whole, pulling our psyche to the metaphorical ocean floor.

All of this is a precursor to my experience with a project I completed over the last week or so. It involved eight six-foot slabs of pine wood, a table saw, and a plethora of screws, bolts, washers, and nuts. The associates at Lowe’s and The Home Depot saw me countless times over a several day span, as I tried time and again to find the right thread size, screw type, and countersinking bits to complete said project.

The pedestal display I had been tasked with building is a piecemeal set of platforms, that when set next to each other provided a podium-style display for various jewelry busts. I was meticulous in my measurements and cut styles, carefully using a tape measure to precisely place the location for each bolt hole connecting the pieces. I was so focused on not messing up that it ironically pushed me ever closer to that inevitable outcome.

That’s when my wife (who I was building the display for) came out and asked me a simple question. Are you having fun? And you know what, I think I was, but in all the wrong ways. I was having fun with trying to create the perfect wooden box. That’s when she offered a thought that changed everything. Just enjoy the process. It’s cliche and something that we often say tongue-in-cheek, but it hit home in a different way this time, and said timing was perfect. Thinking outside the box became an actionable metaphor.

There were things that didn’t work out as planned. The countersinks were inconsistent depths. Some pieces of the wood were warped with imperfections that proved ironic. Wood filler putty and sanding was required to smooth out some otherwise rough edges, both metaphorical and literal.

Would I have voluntarily embarked upon this adventure had I not been asked to create it? Nope, absolutely not. I would have stayed comfortably parked in my comfort zone. And yes, I understand that some people might look at this opportunity as a joyful chance to create something new with their hands, but for me, it was akin to jumping off a cliff and aiming for a thimbleful of water to land in.

But that was prior to this experience, and before my wife graced me with the same set of words I’ve heard countless times before. Enjoy the process.

The process of moving from point A to B, the act of becoming, the art of being present in the moment. They all occur at the same time, and it’s easy to hyper-focus all our energy on one of those elements at the expense of the others. In my case, I wasn’t focusing on any of them. I was only concerned with an inflated expectation of the end result.

So, the message from me to you this month is one you’ve heard time and again. Get outside your comfort zone. Choose to do something different. Sometimes it’s not the message itself but when you receive it that matters most.

I never wood have believed this was the perfect opportunity, after a long time, to do something new for the first time. We have many tools in our chest. Some cut unnecessary things out like a table saw while others hold important things together like the wrench that tightens a perfectly paired bolt and nut. Use them all. Take that leap. Embrace the beauty of imperfection to discover just how perfect a moment it can be.

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